Elsewhere - Corrosion, Contaminates and Royalty
"Click it or ticket" is the current antagonistic campaign to implore you to save your own life. This tactic is more tailored towards the convenience of a jingle than discretion. Petitioning the application of a safety device should assert living before threats of fines. Do we truly live in such an overly sensitive society where "click it or die a hideously agonizing decapitated death" is too uncongenial? Truth is now often doused in pleasant fragrances and thus detrimentally overlooked.

I thought it would not have to come to this but good-bye NASA. You're done. Corroded bolts?! There are Star Trek modelers who are more perceptive to conditions than your entire organization and affiliates. Cape Canaveral is on an island, on the Atlantic ocean, where weather is often adverse. How have you not figured this out yet? If I was not confident that a more assertive culture once existed, I would find it hard to believe that man had walked upon the surface of the Moon.

While we are ridiculing certain branches of human vocations; a sketch where a girl is pretending to be a dog. MAD-Tv more often concedes particular elements of creativity for an indescribably harmful bowel condition. How does one wake in the morning as an executive producer of that show? Suicide must be lingering in the corner as a tease for something better upon the horizon and I implore the staff and audience to give it a whirl.

To quote, "How do we protect the public from infectious diseases while respecting the rights of those infected." I believe this encapsulates the unconditional irrationality of American culture. Analyzing the statement, we must define innocence. If you are unaffected and able to be protected from contaminates, are you not more conditionally innocent than the person who already defied some modicum of boundary to obtain this infectious agent? Once you have become a harbinger of a transient mortality, it is your ethical responsibility to restrain yourself and if defiant of this measure, you are liable for homicide and therefore coupled with the same restrictions of civil rights as a murderer. The simple and most amiable alternative is moral compliance as demarcated by the preservation of the majority.

Traveler could be the most implausible plot ever devised. Congratulations for blowing it ABC...of course this most likely means this show will acquire a full season under it's belt before cancellation fuck you NBC. Indeed, that is now one complete grammatically correct sentence.

And on the subject of implausibility; no man should ever be concerned with grass stains loitering his baseball jersey as depicted by a recent laundry detergent commercial. Any male will recognize the grass or dirt stain as an emblem of battle, and never willingly obliged to obliterate by oxygenated what-n-evers.

While upon this now rampant theme of dubious imagery, is there no greater of a dismal cinematic moment of implausibility than within the film The Jackal starring Bruce Willis, Sydney Poitier and Richard Gere? Elevating the climax of the film, a female main character is lingering from a gun shot wound to the abdomen and prior to the appearance of Gere, EMTs are assertively laboring over her. Upon his arrival, they disperse and while Gere converses with her for several moments, the EMTs watch on as she dies. I am slightly concerned for the medical advisor on this film if his notation consisted of, "...I approve of their realistic performance."

For those who frequent the news circles, you will take notice that illegal immigration is once again rampant in discourse and again nowhere -- with a dare implied -- will you encounter one person suggesting the alternative phrase, 'fix Mexico'.

My perspective -- thought partially wrong -- is that Ben is in the casket and therefore Jack is disheartened that now he cannot more easily return to the island where Juliet still lives in some post mortal ethereal tangent. I also believe that the final eight to ten episodes will be off the island. Aside from that, there is no more brutal of a commercial break than those that siege the viewer during episodes of Lost. That clearly is an earmark of success and something to aspire to.

Apparently microchips voluntarily placed inside an individual is still considered unethical. If the act of volunteering oneself is marginalized, where is this proclaimed autonomous entity that is so endearingly sung and praised?

I often catch myself yelling at CNN Headline News in the early morning hours with such naive phrases as "shut up" and "please stop" with regards to the newer "entertaining" format with Robin. And to what degree has this configuration evolved? The other day, moments prior to my angst, she informed me that it is, "...very interesting to watch fire fighters fight fires". The day I turn on the tele and rise to dry European news will truly be a heavenly paced morning.

Baby Spice and Chips Ahoy cookies. Two aged desires that are still quite edible.

Because Bill Mahr, people are quite exhausted from a lack of results from being merely "pissed off". Having to actually respond to a mediocre comedian conveys his lack of form.

16,185 murders and 92,837 rapes in the United States of America last year. Commit this to memory and regurgitate it when confronted with disparagement for the quantity of dead soldiers overseas.

I have discovered that you can be both a Christian and Muslim simultaneously...regardless that they are from identical origins anyways. The proposition? You may eat the cracker, but pass on the wine.

I have formed no opinion as of yet as to quality, however, by preface of content, there is much consideration for the upcoming theatrical release of September Dawn.

Link: http://www.septemberdawn.net/

For 65 years, UNESCO has gratified itself by promoting international collaboration by means of, "statements" and trade marks. A passionate discourse in defining disparities...so much more endearing than actually persuading the task of accords. As if I should I curse this gesture eh?!

On that note, I will now be accepting bribes for the review and possible inclusion of your misaligned proposals. I hold no animosity to those willing to adhere to accommodating others by instruments of wealth. In actuality, they have disenchanted no personal values. It was a disposition breach from inception, prior to inducement.

It seems to me that the G8 Summit is a country club interpretation of the United Nations? Only the wealthy and industrialized are allowed...and no blacks or Jews.

Recall a moment in time when you sat within an automobile in the left turn lane awaiting the red arrow to illuminate green. In this moment, the roar of traffic sped by you to the right. The winds howl and the force of air pressure sieges your vehicle, shifting you from side to side. Now envision this scale enlarged. At any one moment, a hundred thousand automobiles and tractor trailers are traveling in a west to east or versa direction. The mere air oscillation you felt magnified to this volume and one must poise the butterfly effect. Though I trifle with mathematicians, I require a formulation. Exterior air volume and pressure per vehicle traveling 70 kph, affixing environmental conditions and angular geographic vectors for the concussion wave. Apportion atmospheric/gravitational slopes and solve for x. Don't screw with me whoever ends up stealing this and publishing a paper. I have allotted an official "vouching" squadron.

I apologize. I viewed a moment of Inside Edition and my bowels are now quite knotted. How horrendous is this program? The first video was of Rosie O'Donnell enjoying her leisurely time away from work which was shadowed by a video of survivors disembarking a 737 crash site in India only to be followed by a deer chasing a boy in a national park. Willing to venture a guess which was awarded the girth of airtime?

Simply put, the Olympics are for competitors...athletes and viewers alike:

Link: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/engl ... 724245.stm

The media would like for you to believe that due to the hardships of service overseas, soldiers are afflicted with a staggeringly high 20 per cent divorce rate. With the national average above 34 per cent and with soldiers commonly married under duress the while exceptionally young, I find it hard to accept this as baffling.

There is a rather consistent volume of very attractive women utilizing the local public library. This is quite encouraging for us nerd hermits...or nermits.

The English royal family are pressing a local broadcaster to not publish the gruesome photographs of a dying and deceased former Princess Diana because they are distressing. Yes, I imagine the impact of her slight frame contorted like a paper clip was extremely distressing to her but hardly to those who did not suffer this untimely demise. Firstly, the incident occurred in a public forum therefore they are of the curiosity of the public domain imparting censorship to the consumer. Further, if this event is so deemed conspiratorial, why would not all images become available for beneficial scrutiny? Lastly, the photographs of John F. Kennedy's halved cantaloupe is readily available, aside from the cache of other historical prominent figures so why does this celebrity exceed margins?

There is a campaign to remove the use of stun guns by law enforcement officers on the mentally handicapped because, "...they don't understand." 300,000 volts of electricity cauterizing their entrails should certainly inform them enough to understand that they have exceeded a boundary. Regard the alternatives; beatings or bullets, and consider them fortunate to have a professor of etiquette.

I dare you to watch an entire Senate dialogue on a propositioned bill and the successive vote without even the slightest of interruptions. The moment your mind and body becomes apprehensive, rationalize the time you've squandered and contrast it to the progressions of congress. Life is impatient, your legislators should keep up.

Mathematicians, linguistians and scholars all negotiate intangiablly consequential anecdotal ethereals. Engineers are the burdened.

Tv's "Where To":

Link: http://allafrica.com/stories/200706010408.html

Updates - Employment Opportunities
Internships:

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For more information regarding individual positions, please send your resume to mvt@tvmiller.com with the subject heading of the employment you are seeking.

Sphere - 01.01R Press Release
Date: 22:34 Day 147 Year 4,567,724,067
Author: Miller, Tv (EDO)
Reference: 01.01R Central Continental Africa

Subsequent of an analysis of the prior 365 days; due to a measure of unaccommodating hostility executed by multiple parties, not excluding regional government representatives and civilian armed forces in addition to the waning conditions of the indigenous population and proportional inactivity of humanitarian organizations, Sphere has been authorized to impose martial law over the entirety of this currently recognized multi-national territory until further notice and will initiate measures of occupation for resolution.


Elsewhere - Purple Rain (#200)
Human atrophy. My former roommates mentioned in a previous Elsewhere are on the path of replication as depicted by the faint purple cross. “God” spare us...or perhaps nature could pass along a pleasant genetic malady. The terminal kind, like getting hit by a bus. That’s a joke by the way. Terminal. Bus. Savvy? With all seriousness, I hope it dies and takes her with it as measure to a more prosperous civilization.

Elsewhere - Disbelief, Capiarxism and Hypothetical Law
Welcome to the 199th Brainwashed deposition. Notations have been abundant as of late thanks in part to the recent extrication from the internet (Day 7), therefore I shall attempt a diminutive verse with a highly anticipated disillusion. In truth, I write this particular Elsewhere with knowledge that few gander upon these pages in the now, but should the day come, the documentation of wisdom will surface with an underpinning of rationalization.

Intermingled with my recent examination concerning the death of religion, there has been an excess of anti-religious television news programs analyzing history with some degree of prejudice. Recently, I watched the premiere of BBC’s presentation of Jonathon Millers’ “Brief History of Disbelief” which endowed me with a sense of validity having paired my analysis in the aforementioned Elsewhere article within accuracy by someone I had never heard of prior. The contention provided by Jonathon Millers demonstrated something significant...corroboration. Two entities, unbeknownst to each other, arrived at an identical hypothesis through rudimentary methods subsequently complying to the fundamentals that establish law. The same cannot be achieved by religious perspectives with such distances of isolation.

This program in it’s entirety is available online:

Link: http://www.veoh.com/series/briefhistoryofdisbelief

Pay special attention to the argument regarding the labels of secularism and atheism. He agrees with my perspective that assigning ourselves within such categories gives relevance to the premise that we do not validate in the first place. It is odd to have so many brandings, ideologies and methodologies to offset something that is nonexistent.

What is rather interesting is that religion has essentially hindered itself by doctrine and as result of this, I see quite possibly the verge of severity from the church towards it’s penultimate departure. The church once utilized violent inquisitions to remand heresy. Today, they are cuffed by the compassion they imposed as morality. I believe this margin will be dismissed in the final gasps of desperation. A staging of imposed resurrection otherwise a demise of supremacy.

A recent data purge revealed that 90 per cent of mothers who are told by examination that their fetus shows signs of Downs Syndrome have had an abortion performed. Malignancies removed from a functioning species by means of evolutionary availability. That is what life is really about...not the empathy for then but the yearned successes achieved now. This is a choice to thrive as a species and a welcomed behavior.

George Lucas believes that the Spiderman film franchise is “silly”. While not fond of the Star Wars or Spiderman franchise, I can impartially proclaim, he is a no-talent idiot. Not only is the measure of his talent irrational and demonstrated as putrid, but to dignify his arrogance as relevant by reflection of films that were not highly received by the awards associations of filmmakers, demonstrates quantity over quality and displays no merit of substance. In conclusion, Star Wars sucked and how can I prove it? To all the fans, what was your analysis of Episode One keeping in mind that this was Lucas’ first modernized attempt at attracting an audience through storytelling. I seem to recall most, if not everyone finding it disagreeable and even Lucas comically apologizing for certain characteristics of this exertion.

Tv’s semi-every-so-often ‘Worth Your Dime’ film recommendations:

You Kill Me  (http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/youkillme.html)
Joshua  (http://www.foxsearchlight.com/joshua/)

Tv’s semi-when-opportune ‘What?!’ film loathings:

Brooklyn Rules (Freddie Prinze Jr. as a calzone?!)

I am beleaguered by how the American media believes they have improved the performance and delivery of the news by now standing, the while highly coveted world-wide media Al Jazerra and BBC continue to seat themselves in a modestly unpretentious décor. Yet, who can turn down thirty-eight 72 inch flat screen monitors surrounding you with gyratory graphics spewing irrelevance.

Pea soup, lamb, fish and exquisite pastries accompanied by the music stylings of Itzhak Pearlman. I surely do hope that they enjoyed these luxuries at the expense of my labours to which did not endow myself within the same margins of comfort.

Double stomps in professional wrestling are for thoughtless and therefore talentless douche bags.

I just became aware that the Europeans of Jamestown killed natives as result of the ceasing of the donation of goods. Interesting how the founders of the United States of America were domineering, not self sufficient and quite childishly temperamental. The embodiment of the American spirit intermittently lives on.

Andy Rooney perpetuates indifference to elucidation in the least humorous way possible. For the love of humanity will you just die already.

Why are American flags placed on the debris of a disaster? How is the depiction of perseverance conveyed when the symbolism of structure and unity is placed atop ruins?

How is it you have survived for 30 years only now to tell me that you are afflicted by a genetic disorder. That is exactly what many are now attempting to portray by announcing that they are suffering from depression regardless of a maturation. Unwilling to accommodate the reality of being conditioned to despondency, psychologists have taken advantage by providing medicinal alternatives which in all contradict each diagnosis of the condition asserted.

Subway just equated obesity to crashing your bicycle and I have no quorums with that.

It is the narration to the audience amid composure between characters that I despise of Shakespeare.

No matter the condition one suffers or the tyranny one depreciates from, television will remain unfailing and alleviant of ills. Television is a condition, a diversion from and to the state of being. An unrecognized means of resolve as writers to journalists depict the unknown world to you and in spite of your diverse grandeur.

Having now passed a “Sunday” morning, I recognize a change in this divertive condition that television once imparted to me. Few repetitions as waking in the morning to watch MST3K was more therapeutic.

Just once I would like to see a Batman villain purchase something. A candy bar, salt peter, something...anything to provide more veracity than having to steal everything in order to attempt to accomplish some task of malevolence.

I am curious to see if David Maus truly turns no loss. Though poetic if so, people are desperately susceptible and there is a greater void in humanity than professed.

Norah Jones can tell me of the waiting for some fresh ice cubes any time she wishes. In addition to that, within one of her tracks is probably my most favorite lyrical passage: The window’s accusing the door of abusing the wall.

Vincent K. McMahon Jr. is the ECW Champion and with that, it pains me to turn my back to his organization that has entertained me for the majority of my conscious life. I pity the audience that efforts to grasp at such pathetic redundant maneuverings.

I started a new competition for self-amusement. You are welcome to play along. Here is the premise: When watching television, you may come across a news or documentary program that details paranormal events. When these triggers are apparent, during this program there may come an occasion when first hand accounts are dialogued. Get your score card out. Just prior to seeing the person in question, you call out if the person is fat. My score thus far, 7 and 1. The 1 was an old guy...I should have know better yet with the consistency of abnormal people claiming abnormal events, it’s hard to lose.

If I am going to eat someone, I prefer it served buffet style with a white wine, butter and garlic sauce. A sprig of basil, dash of oregano and fresh ground pepper.

Having just completed my 95th employment, I was able derive yet another missed opportunity for “terrorists”. Food preparation and delivery for aircrafts at the Orlando International Airport was surprisingly minimalist on security. The measures of demise were numerous. I held the lives of an entire flight of AreoMexico in my latex sheltered hands. For those concerned with my deliberations, I caused and intended no harm.

An updated employment history is again available with accumulation to numeral 96. Only four more to a colossal 100 employments.

Link: Employment History

Having experienced the preparations for such aeronautical excursions, it became apparent that we can in fact fault the wealthy for demeaning every attribute of flight. First class passengers are served a variety of voluminous cuisines atop porcelain plates and glassware, amongst other excesses. These unnecessary and inconsiderate abundances in addition to spacious accommodations equate to a greater mass and therefore more fuel is expended at a cost to the consumer and environmental resources. Surely you would counter with the premise that first class passengers pay a higher rate for such accommodations that consequently balance this overindulgence. I did in fact say every attribute. Finitely they do impose alterations in cost to the consumer across the board, as well, they negatively influence time. Mass differential at a fixed velocity will demonstrate how useless excesses pilfer the measure of time.

How substandard is American news today? Local news WFTV on channel 9 at 1700 in Orlando, Florida just reported on the commencement of a new Police Officer Memorial in Washington D.C. and amid the honor guard, speeches and interviews, not one image of the actual memorial was shown.

Allow me to introduce a new segment to Brainwashed and Elsewhere entitled “F The”:

F the Deputy City Manager of Cocoa, Florida. If the humor is lost, she is truly a feeble human being. For some time now, the police officers union has been attempting to renegotiate their contract and as she recently dined at a restaurant, by coincidence, so did several SWAT team members. When she completed her meal, she was told by the waitress that her bill would be taken care of by the police officers. Not more than a minute later, the waitress returned with the bill and a message stating that they could not afford to pay the bill. That is funny you old hag, yet she found the action appalling and implored the Chief of Police to suspend the officers involved...to which he did. I therefore offer a hearty F the Deputy City Manager of Cocoa, Florida.

Look around you and take stock of your personal environment. With honest, how many items in this room do you use with any measure of functionality to any degree of regularity? I look around my room and in the various corners of storage and find two items of uselessness, but I have conditioned myself for such efficiencies in life. I want you to take just a moment in the day to document the excesses in your life and quantify the value and volume of these items and rationalize the merits demanded to provide you with these singularities.

Fine art is found within application. Purposeful architectural enhancements within buildings, roadways, signage among other utilized items are far more exquisitely beautiful than any painting in a museum.

Again we return to Virginia for disenchantment. The slained students of the recent massacre were awarded degrees posthumously which invalidates the fervent labours of those who survived. Whether alive or dead, you should earn no more than what is accomplished.

What is so vile about life here that one must squander passion in the there after? At any capacity, god or not, the value of life is apparent. How is it not the most practical application to consume yourself here and now?

I have found that not one positive thing by Mormon or otherwise can be said of Joseph Smith. His disturbing characteristics contributed to the entirety of the negative stigmas attributed to Mormonism and were feverishly countered by Brigham Young and the following leaders of the church. How peculiar...or is it? No, it is...but isn’t. Do you see?

While we are on the subject of Mormons, for those watched the several hours of programming on PBS regarding the history and doctrine of the Mormons, I have a few quandaries. First is that the Mormons originally desired to expunge themselves from the United States of America though now they have never been more of a patriotic organization. The other dilemma I have is that Joseph Smith frequently entered the forest to visit the “plates” yet was unable to return the plates to his home for several years until, and suddenly...he did. I wonder, how long does it take to carve incoherent hieroglyphics into stone?

When homeless inadvertently burn down the dwelling they were squatting in, it exemplifies their ineptitude to living.

Russell Simons is a jack ass. Take your damn baseball cap off when inside and doing an interview. Does anyone even remember what a hat is for? I’ll have you know that it did serve a function once.

Robert Altman’s chauffer was given top billing. Please tell me this was a dare or bet that was lost.

Occasionally there is concern as to the labeling of a generation. I have decided to earmark this current generation as the Energy Frauds. There has never been more “energy” drinks consumed as means to ordinary endurance, as if the thousands of years of humanity were just too fatigued to accomplish anything. With the Energy Frauds mentality, I would imagine they would believe we would be further advanced as a civilization...of course we would only live to be 35, dead of a cardiac arrest.

The other day I paid fifty cents to cross a bridge over a freeway though paid a hundred dollars to the department of transportation for the registration of my vehicle which I had understood it to be a tax for roadway construction and maintenance. The abundance of toll roadways are enormously excessive in Florida. It is nearly impossible to equate the cost of travel to either avoidance of this fleecing or the accommodation of it. 7 per cent of my hourly income for no more than a 1000 feet.

Voter fatigue and late entry are accountable stratagems for government elections. Every word of that is horrifying.

So soon? I think with the sheer profusion of this Elsewhere, we can unquestionably apportion another “F The”:

F the Invisible Children’s Displace Me program and F Bobby Bailey. What a truly perfect representation of charitable organizations who “assist” the desolation in third world countries. Rather than indulging themselves into campaigns of relevance, they compel methodologies on how to experience the sufferings of a victim. Why participate as a victim when your intended obligation is renovation? No one in a comfortable group setting is going to truly experience the severity of the condition, so rather than entertaining, demonstrate change.

How many daunting events must one undertake before they cease a conceited arrogance and begin to covet a humbled confidence?

Marxism was perceptive of equal affliction by musings of fiscal reward. Capitalism equates the capacity of character to compensation. To mediate both into a singularity, the condition of workplace environmental distress must adhere to particular alterations to accommodate dissimilar requirements. Character motivated earnings are inevitable and should be accountable due to developmental and biological conditionings that measure aptitude. Workplace environmental dynamics can therefore be altered to subdue disparaged posture equating greater personalized value per hour labored.

Newton’s first “law” of motion is improbable. The “law” states that if an object were placed in motion without an opposing force, the object would continue unabated at a consistent velocity indefinitely. In natural physics, this would be considered an impracticable irregularity. The universe and it’s components subsist in a mass density without voids in matter to the molecular level. Therefore, an object placed in motion would with certainty collide with an opposing mass invalidating any viable calculation resultant of Newton’s first “law” of motion.

After several years of exclaiming my disdain for the current conditions of civilization, in parallel I have learned to become much more tolerant. Linguistic and esthetic rebelliousness have become less of a confliction. If they do not impede the ethics of efficient modernization that I implore, they are not burdensome. I now more than ever am considerate of this as an apparatus of curiosity. When it commences to hinder this frontier, you will hear about it as always. Meanwhile ladies, I consider it my duty to inform you that having endured a years worth of abstinence, a new conscious precipice of sexual potential has rouse certain characteristics that emphasize an enabling of grandeur. Fair warning to the next inhabitant of Tv Land. I’m talking to you Christina Chang.

Congratulations on your endurance -- 16,400 characters, 2,700 words and 57 paragraphs.

“Who doth molest my contemplation?” – Titus Andronicus