Elsewhere - Multimedia-d Edition
16:13.15 150-08 OTC
Elsewhere will today delve into the new media era with our first of several multimedia'd editions harbinging the catalysts of our demise. Enjoy and repent.

Coexist [koh-ig-zist] v.
† †1. to exist together or at the same time.
† †2. to take your half out of the middle. (Hippie Ref.)

Excess [ik-ses] n.
† †1. the state of exceeding what is sufficient.
† † †Why are environmentalist blasť with receipt excess?
† †2. intemperance.

Guidance [gahyd-ns] n.
† †1. providing direction to a decision or a course of action.
Parenting [pair-uhn-ting, par-] n.
† †1. The rearing of a child, the care and guidance given by a parent.

Trailer Rape [trey-ler reyp] v.
† †1. to be psychologically violated by a superfluous warning.
† †2. a dismal or extraneous caution display.
Update - Bleach Your Whites
15:13.49 146-08 OTC
The United States of America, after immense scrutiny, has determined that Tv Miller does not satisfactorily meet the criteria for service with the armed forces -- and honestly, it is just as well. I have held tremendous reservations for a prolonged tolerance of a curriculum of 'God and Country' aside poised zealots.

We now return to our regular broadcasting schedule.

United States Armed Forces
Army (1460 Days)
Deadline: 319/4068

Operation: 1.1R
Paoua, Central African Republic, Africa
Deadline: 365/4068

Operation: 2.1R
Culiacan, Mexico, North America
Deadline: 349/4068

Operation: 3.1R
Mogadishu, Somaliland, Africa
Deadline: 365/4068
Elsewhere - Golf Cart Accidents
23:20.19 145-08 OTC
It is distracting to know futility when you desire.

Nomadics accommodate to the theatrics of disappointing terms.

A personalized anamorphisis: '...like God, faultless, yet everything is wrong.'

A willingness to surrender sacrifice is conformity. I will forever stomach the call for sacrifices for the moment of opportunity -- a reluctance to capitulate, regardless of a derisory condition, is to live forever.
Cancelled - Best of Vegas Air Hockey Tournament
17:55.41 145-08 OTC
Due to the level of umbrage for either competitor, the opponents have breached any measure of collaboration. The tournament has therefore been cancelled.
Elsewhere - Do The Dishes
22:34.15 138-08 OTC
Host: Welcome back to 'Elsewhere'.

Tv Miller: Thank you.

Host: What brings you back?

Tv Miller: Finding myself unable to effectively accommodate my editorial seething within the audio or video format at this time, the incessant writhing about on the floor clutching my brain, screaming incantations in the hope of preventing an explosion within my skull, came to a crescendo.

Host: So you felt the need to --

Tv Miller: Shut your hole, I'm talking here. As the plethora of intangible inaccurate incompetences bludgeoned my senses, the original textual configuration for the last seven years, more readily available, became more attractive. Thus an unwelcomed return to the pages of scrutiny delivered in our traditional aristocratic dialect...provisionally.

Host: There you have it folks. Please enjoy the return of Elsewhere(s) by Tv Miller.

Elsewhere - Do The Dishes

Never abandon a chess board, knowing with certainty that you will misplace your pieces and squander the game.

The effemination of society is constantly troubling. The dwindling nature of angst (the warrior mentality) has inhibited masculinity. It has become 'inappropriate' to lash out violently to hostilities. Diplomacy, the benign enchantress, the feminine wiles, overcomes a brutish temperament. Males outnumbered by torrents of wars past, irrational psychology for compassionate pleas followed. -- If you had any question of when it might occur...women rule the world. I find minute hallmarks of this amidst my day that infuriate me. One such seemingly irrelevant facet...Several years ago, a customer would purchase a milk shake and find it served in a sturdy cup to the likes one would serve a volatile beverage like soda. Today, they are served within a thin clear plastic cup with a thin clear plastic dome loitered upon with a hefty portion of whipped cream. Now, this once genderless beverage has become a delicate article. To be cautiously enjoyed, gingerly held and coutured. Having to deny these flimsy atrocities and having to heed concern amid my consumption has pleaded an acquiescence. Damn the womanly figured cup.

The ideology of 'bravery' has as well succumbed to empathy as exampled by those on the bus who 'bravely' fled rather than bravely contended with the villain:

Link: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7535840.stm

"Sgt Colwell said the "brave" behaviour of the passengers and driver probably prevented anyone else from being hurt." At least the author of the article as well perceives my sentiments.

Theatre ticket prices are unlike gasoline prices. They continue to ascend unabated by the threat of query. Yet, imagine if you will a comparison study. In the theatre on this day, the average film run time is 107 minutes (1 hour 47 minutes). Average ticket price is $10.00(U.S.). This result delineates that you are paying an average 0.093 dollars per minute. 9 cents/minute. After roughly 10 minutes into the film, you have surrendered $1.00. Ask yourself if that first 10 minutes of film was worthy of 1/4th of your miles per gallon. I know I feel horrendously robbed, perhaps even slightly raped, by viewing The Mummy 3.

"Stand up to cancer". Frequently I am told by celebrities to usher a movement for various causes. Though valued several millions times over my own wealth, I am told to rise up on behalf of those suffering from debilitating diseases. Rise up to who? 'Stand Up 2 Cancer' is the latest farce to urinate on our on broadcasting channels. Science is an endeavor made by individuals with very little requirements for funding yet somehow, wealthy millionaire performers and politicians in unison are unable to contribute and ask of you to bare with them. Perhaps if science had not become so convoluted and engorged on these ethereal 'movements' and subsequent grand-standings rather than an objectified singularity, there would be little need to contribute to the possible hundreds of organizations searching for an identical cure. Polio was not cured or supported by an Oscar winner nor was penicillin discovered or compensated for by a governor of New York.

68 failures in 19 miles. A turn signal is a device to alert others to your intentions. It is an object of courtesy and security. It is a conscious feat by an individual coherent of his collaboration with society. In the mere 19 miles I traversed, 68 individuals deemed our lives insignificant. Start a movement today. Sit down and use your turn signal. Visit sitdown2turnsignals.org.

Elsewhere returns next week (orbital time week equates to five days) with further beleaguered respite.