Operation Pond (Project 47)
Preliminary information can relieve details of the first stage of our Project 47 venture, inuring sailing solo across the Atlantic Ocean. Further details will be made available as they develop.

Plug - Da Vinci Artist Supply
-The following is an advert-is(e)-ment (eloquent) for DaVinci Artist Supply-

Manhattan ambiguously blows when it comes to non-fashion-themed creativity. Should you desire sporting goods, engineering (mechanical, electrical and/or hardware) supplies or even artistry apparati, you would be hard pressed to find an abundance of reputable dealers peddling their wares. It has become more frequent that to obtain even simplistic elements are tasking or improbable upon this non-dormental atoll...which heralds applause to DaVinci Artist Supply for being the sole provider of several molding and casting products utilized in our current venture - in addition to supplying various miscellaneous yet apparently vexing instruments in our previous electromagnetic microgravity experiment. We wholly advocate your patronage of this establishment located on 23rd and 21st below Midtown.

Link: DaVinci Artist Supply
Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (Typesetting Edition)
-The following is a public service announcement-

Several updates to our general domain have been hindered by the homicidal Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA) also recognized as the 'super-bug'. While we have accomplished the task of defeating this perilous disease thus validating our imperviousness to mortality, an admittance of ignorance to the conditions and symptoms of this infection inspires us to publicly service an announcement.

If you are an individual who inhabits various 'high-risk' environments, awareness of the symptoms are key. Our experience was deceptive in that we had come to believe that we had been overcome by a series of vicious spider bites. While we choose to retain our carnal hatred towards biting insects, the appearance of venomous wounds proved a faulty venture.

New York City is a vile and disgusting place and there are many like it, so we implore you to be conscious of the symptoms and conditions of a multitude of community acquired diseases beginning with this likely spider conceived bacterial infection.
Scythed Backpack
Walking through the witless streets of the blanched apple, one can't help find sentiment in the ancient apparati of war. Consider affixing scythes to your modes of transportation as to best preserve your sixty centimeters.

[Q: What?! A: Debasive procrastination update.]
Love Letters
Yesterday morning, I was the welcomed uneducated victim of chicanery by an online 'organization' titled Integrascan.

After searching through a cache of 'investigative' websites, I fell upon this 'brand' where I was asked to surrender a fee of 49 US Dollars for the entitlement to my complete and accurate documented background. A common apparatus of employers and the like. The results (which are available to you upon request) consisted of 1 correct previous address...and that is all. From a blunderingly inaccurate date of birth to completely irrelevant prattle about real estate (to which I have never owned) to an apparent clean slate of morality in the criminal justice system (to which I could never own up to), the absent minded document was utter nonsense and as blank as my expression upon my now lighten wallet.

Admittedly, had I done my research I could have easily avoided these circumstances.
http://complaintsboard.com/complaints/i ... c4247.html

Thus, #tvfail.

Anyone who has read my 'disclaimer' listed on the lower right portion of this webpage knows, my discretionary actions towards resolve cater to the intolerant.

First, a patient and docile yet strongly insistent request for a refunding of my fee in compliance of their 'money back guarantee'. The response (also available to you upon request) was that I willingly gambled with the risks of assurances.

The threshold laid bare, I unleashed a scathingly vigorous though vague implication that a reimbursement of my money was the safest of recourses. What I now present to you in vivid HD cut and pasting, is their multi-layered retort.

Mr. Miller,

I will be contacting your local authorities to file charges for physical and terroristic threats today. I will also direct our company attorneys to take out restraining orders against you for every one of our employees. That's going to be quite a few which will all be public record.

I have also directed my staff to refund your money for the order.

R E Vernoti

Public records, which I can only assume will not be available or accurate as part of their services. The final line of his dialog is the culmination of a discernible lack of implication of my written word to such a deviant nature...though I promise you they were very much so and will continue to as this breathtakingly passionate company is lovingly placed upon our 'penitence list'. I am far from done with these swindlers being that they are defiant of a pact with humanity to aide not hinder. [47]