The next step in over-complicated eating has arrived...you're welcome. Say dinner is served and you want to amp up the cuisine. The home chef removes the Sionic forks from their charging station and you prepare to dine as royalty...assuming they as well have Sionic forks.

Here's a brief notation on cooking. Heat accelerates molecules in the food, changing the density and composure of the material to make it more edible..and deader. Microwave ovens use a method of dielectric heating to accomplish this task more efficiently.

Meanwhile, once disengaged from their charging station, and no larger than a vibrating toothbrush, you puncture the flesh of the deceased animal or vegetable corpse, causing the pressure sensor to briefly (1.5-2 seconds) activate the servo which pulses the head of the fork lodged in the ruffage, exciting the molecules.

Elsewhere, your fingers are pressed on the handle of the fork in a comfortable ergonomic position to your gaping maw which puts the ionic action into, um...action. The already prancing about molecules are then further enticed as the soon to be poo reaches your taste buds in a now even higher explosion of taste.

But wait, there is more. When the Sionic fork is set on the table, it's rested on the Sionic 'heating plate' (rechargeable in stack) that gradually warms the head of the two pronged fork, giving each bite an internal temperature of yum.


Tarmac Delay
21:42.19 209-11 OTC
You're probably not asking yourself, isn't this pillock supposed to be in a taco town, burrito village or bean alley by now?

Quite understandable. While we are indeed no longer in The Step and likewise back in the least popular island in the world, we do have an explanation and a guarantee of prompt resolve.

Money and getting some.

Stay tuned.
#project47
Project 47 Subway Flyers (Coming Soon)
21:20.1 207-11 OTC
Who's to blame? Why, you are!

As our society descends into chaos from a lack of sustainable chaos challenging our innate masculinity, the delicate constitutions of others has established allowances for absolute imbecility. From etiquette to culture to character, what was once intolerable is now barriered by margins of inappropriateness to discuss.

Project 47 would like to offer our most sincere screw that by posting these (and more) flyers initially throughout the New York Metropolitan Subway system in the coming weeks. Stay abreast of our Twitter feed for live updates and photographs as they occur. #changetheworld



[Update] Two more flyers have been added, bring the total to six.


Pet Door Brush (Updated)
17:41.44 206-11 OTC



[Update] Yowza! When engineering a new project, we are often quite liberal about researching existing materials before moving forward and (ungracefully) while we disagree with their particular methodology, we will surrender that this (currently unavailable) one slipped through the cracks. [dogdoorgenie.com]

[Update Part Deux] Ours is better. If anyone wants it, we demand 23.75 per cent and our services labelled, Analogue Anatomical Contortion Deviation Toilance. It's rubber, genius.
25.837 Meridian
03:21.46 201-11 OTC
Dying-battery-toy-radio Bob Dylan once wrote, "these times, they are a changin," as compared to say, an improbability of a static environment? Stupid Bob Dylan. Anywho, after several years of seducing a vehement confrontation with a deviated lethargic society, we are at present seated 2 kilometers from the murder capital of the world.

In the next 40 days, a collusion of characters will carry out a discourse that will lead to events that will forever alter the perceptions dealt within these pages. We are upon a catalyst, and there is no substitute to be reckoned. Upon affirmations, we will promptly indicate #Project47's tenets. Stay tuned.