@VijeMiller · 1h
Envision an entire wall endlessly publishing the various settings of this stupendous website .. an atypical internet tranquility.
https://earth.nullschool.net/#current/wind/surface/level/orthographic=-95.14,26.43,508
22:13:53 185 018
Miter
Kei Dildo
The cache of womanly g-spot vibrators at your local tanned hidery are often on the ball (puntown, pop. you) though not much for fulfilling the third dynamic of rhythmic penetration and/or seamless friction. The solution, turn that sum-bitch sideways and stick it up your candy a--well, vagina. This adjustable spiral dildo nicknamed "Kei" (#keildo) adapts to you first. With the AOA and distance adjustable by a flexible inner shaft (puntacular) the dildonic device is inserted as you would a screw (punis anyone?). The domed tip applies pressure to the Gräfenberg spot as the looped surface nudges the clitoris honeypot. Once activated, two individual vibratory servos pulsate the tip and bow. The exuberant cumsumer may then torsion the apparatus using the flanged ergonomic handle, allowing for distribution of the inner vibrating tip, curved clitoral stimulator, feathered edge and fluent penetration. Now, if only we had the funding for a laboratory, a Thing-O-Matic and bait...er, qualified intern. [Engineering > Kei Dildo]

The (our) male alternative to be soon distributed by Fleshlight Inc. is as always displayed on our FleshliPad and Fleshldroid page within the Engineering menu. Shameless plug secured.
Star Wars Emperor Hand Shower Head
Those Guys Merchandise (Coming Soon)
Look for Those Guys merchandise to be flying off the shelves (then being noticed by the owner, violently thrown out and used as sanitary wipes by the homeless) soon. In the meantime, remember to disregard any religious vices on the 62nd (3-March) as Those Guys debut at Millennium Pro Wrestling in Simi Valley, California. Stay tuned for more information on how you can watch live from wherever you are around the world, excluding Saskatoon, Saskatchewan.

Special grievances to resident artist and aspiring pornography mustache collector Christopher George Wiley for illustrations.
Toilet (1) Draft
In engineering, there are but few objects that are the holy grail of design. So imagine if you will; 7 billion people, 7 billion moist piles of sheèt. Everybody poops and in the civilized world, this defecating of defecation is done squared over a porcelain mecca.

But, it's wrong!

The contemporary Western seated posture we are all too familiar with is biologically more dangerous than squatting, as Nature has mitigated by the evolution of the hominid from ape to man. Add to this my personalized engineering angst towards splash-back and generalized inefficiency and we arrive at a severally flaw contraption.

For years we have ventured and failed to evolve this brilliant device and unfortunately this is no different. While this draft is an attempt at the evolution of the idea, it does not answer all queries that are required for a solution. It does however beckon the notion of a happy median by accomplishing the following...

1. Lessened surface area for seating, giving the user a defined ergonomic backside posture coupled with a raised curved step to elevate the legs and allot some irregularity to lessen interest in procrastination.

2. Lessened interior surface area for minimizing resources and interior dynamics for advanced placement layering of feces for efficient controlled evacuation.

Meanwhile, lay off the aesthetics quips. I am attempting to dismiss Adobe Flash and elucidate one's self with Google Sketchup. *whimper*...there doesn't happen to be anyone with any inkling of the ability to CAD who would like to collaborate, would there? Eh?

Engineering > Toilet (1)
Fleshldroid - Fleshlight Android Tablet (FleshliPad Remix)
In light of our recent success (Gizmodo) (The Register) with our Fleshlight iPad concoction we dimwittedly labeled the FleshliPad, we rescued from the vaults this adjustable variation for the vast-ering array of Android tablet dimensions we then cleverly titled the Fleshldroid. Tablet copulation should not be limited to the Apple impaired.