Why Not? II - Square Toilet Seat
The next time you look down upon your toilet, ponder who's anus is that immense that it inspired this archaic design? I dare say even Rosie O'Donnell's is not as cavernous.

Recently we demonstrated a healthy alternative to our existing throne however, one would argue that with millions of porcelain bowls mounted the world over, perhaps an initial notion is asking, why are these shapes so inefficient?

At this very moment, run your finger across your anus. It's the size of a novelty button. Your urethra, whether an inside out or outside in version, is just mere inches north and yet the average toilet seat aperture diameter is nearly 8 inches across.

Enter a public restroom and a prerequisite faced is sanitation. A toilet napkin is oddly shaped and often times useless. When unavailable, you're sequestered to layering strips of toilet paper in an octagonal pattern. Either is wasteful and inefficient.

So, why not a square toilet seat? In public, two direct strips complete the task or a toilet seat cover designed with less excess. At home, the sheer dynamic discourages a seat down male urinationist.

Perhaps comfort is then your quandary? How many circular chairs have you sat upon today? None?! Exactly. Immediately cease thinking for yourself because you have performed poorly and instead, allow me to ask, why not?

[ref. Engineering > Engineering Dump]
Those Guys - MPW (133/072) Who's To Blame?
Hellkid...Hellkid is to blame. Since being cut off by Furious George week in and week in two, Tv asked the fans to vote on Those Guys' next entrance theme. Unfortunately, now number one contender Hellkid presumed Team Hellkid had no need for such #shenanigans. Pft, what does he know...pft. Regardlesslyness, rugged sex symbols Those Guys unreadily came to the ring at Millennium Pro Wrestling in Simi Valley to a tremendous uproar.

After dominating Team Vandal, Those Guys guy Furious George was exhumed from the ring and heinously attacked by members of the Architects of Anarchy including even by means of the now infamous lollipop'ing incident that left an unconscious and bloodied Furious stumbling into the back having absolutely nothing to do with a moonsault from the top to the outside by Tv. Not in any shape, way or form...besides, say that it did. What, are ginger skulls filled with marmalade and wrapped with cellophane?!

This accumulation of shenanigans led to Those Guys, Crayz and Frankie D to be disqualified from the Zoogz Rift Eight Man Tag Elimination and Potato Salad Match. Rumor has it that MPW will give Those Guys a chance at corn syrupy redemption on 30-June when MPW returns to Simi Valley. Stay tuned.
Those Guys - MPW 133/072
This Saturday, Those Guys are once again dusted off and ripped from their packages for yet another play-date with the schlubs of Millennium Pro Wrestling in Simi Valley and in what has already heralded a good deal of shenanigans from booking, Those Guys join Hellkid, The Spectre, Crayz, Frankie Dee, Fern Owens and Hed Zeppelin in the 2nd Annual Zoogz Rift Memorial Eight Man Tag Elimination Match and Buffet for a shot at the MPW Championship which will be decided later that night between Bo Cooper (c) and former WWF'r Gangrel. While Tv has already begun celebrating his sudden and certain championship title match, he took time to remember the little folk that watched him get there by pointing them out in the crowd on busy thoroughfares and gesturing you're number one from the middle of me. Unfellow Those Guys guy, zoo occupant and docent Furious George however, has only stated that he 'can't read'. Perhaps it was 'didn't read', we can't be sure, but what we can be sure of are gophers and this statement from state registered Those Guys guy Mor who was reported as saying,
"Neither Vig or Furious have discussed the possibility of being the final competitors left in the ring because we all agreed Vig will likely be eliminated early on. Mor is speaking."

In other news, it was agreed to several months ago when Furious and Tv discovered their (paid for) allegiance that Tv was to have one-hundred-per-cent control over determining their entrance theme. Previous incarnations have included Baywatch, Mr. Belvedere and Christina Aguilera's Genie in a Bottle. Each and every time, Furious George has last minute vetoed Tv's trenchant selection so this week, Tv has come to you to sway his decision on the next Those Guys entrance theme for this Saturday at MPW. This poll will close at 19:00 PST this Saturday before doors open. [ref. http://poll.fm/3p1al]

Show your Those Guys support by tweeting #shenanigans on Twitter and/or by following Tv on Twitter @TvMiller. Those Guys apparel will be debuted at MPW and available for purchase soon. Stay tuned.
Those Guys and BPW Shenanigans 119/072 (28-Apr)
A hushed silence came over the crowd, we're certain having nothing to do with the ten bell salute moments prior but rather for the arrival of the pontiffs of Battleground Pro Wrestling. Instead, what would later be proven to be an Emmy Award winning pants-putting-oning performance, an unreadied-half-dressed Tv hurried to the ring with unfellow Those Guys guy Furious George in ashamed tow. As Tv courageously struggled to cloth himself according to an oddly boisterous small child "embarrassing"-ly, Those Guys informed the BPW not-yet-drunken audience that they, had taken over...and their first order of business was backpedaling a several month old decision by Commissioner and crushed dixie cup Dan E. Ramirez to ban the Suburban Commandos' tag team finisher, "Something Nasty". Those Guys then settled in near ringside to ensure Lennie Brisco.

As the night wore on, Those Guys and a mysterious masked acquaintance dealt out consequences for any #shenanigans by competitors including demanding title shots and more rum in this Coke [ex.]

In conclusion and in spite of brass' authority to authorize Those Guys' authoritiness, Commissioner and broken golf tee Dan E. Ramirez and the Brothers Darevkos surprised Sam Knight by revealing their mystery guest as his tag team partner, a concussed and delusional Sean Black. Despite Those Guys' demand for some decorum, the Brothers Dippindotsco abandoned Sean Black and said some things in Russian that were either curses or borscht recipes to Those Guys as they evacuated the building. Having spoken with Those Guys this morning over a difficult Egg McMuffin, I can promise you that in twenty-ish days, they will be disgusted with tolerating the Brothers Mooseandsquirrelcos.

Those Guys Entrance Themes
1. Mr. Belvedere
2. Christina Aguilera "Genie in the Bottle"
3. Baywatch
4. TBA at MPW (133/072)
Botany Bay Mongolian BBQ Concept
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A further selection of images are available at
Engineering > Botany Bay Mongolian BBQ