TV's Annual Fast Food Assessment Awards 073
Best Value - Del Taco
Best Quality - Carls Jr.
Best Item - Jack in the Box's Oreo Cookie Shake
Best Interior - Carls Jr.
Honorable Mention - Panda Express

Worst Value - McDonald's "Dollar" Menu
Worst Quality - Taco Bell
Worst Item - White Castle Sliders
Worst Interior - McDonald's "Cafe" Style
No Honorable Mention - Portillo's
Update - Orb Clock
Obsessive Compulsive Towel
No longer will your face suffer from cross contamination with your anus, crotch or feet after a refreshing shower with the OC Towel. If you're like we, you take stock in the things you touch and using a towel more than once can be a crap shoot. Know where you've been with this ergonomically silk screened symbolic bath towel.

Photographs below represent a first draft with (2) printing errors:
(a) Awry thirds dividing line
(b) Crooked leg brand

Assessment - Genghis Grill
Genghis Grill
4722 East Cactus Road
Phoenix, Arizona, North America

Date: 13:30 323/073
Genre: Mongolian BBQ
Serving: 12.95$ (Large Bowel)

A "please wait to be seated" sign greeted me at the door of this much quieter and more spacious environment as compared to the fast food thematics of YC's Mongolian Grill (see Assessment) which instantaneously bestowed confidence in a more aspired to dining experience. There, is where it was set ablaze and stomped out like a paper bag of feces on my tongue's door step. The waitress, Tiffany, a bubbly attractive red headed friendly sort, perhaps too friendly from boredom, advised me of the absurd process. You take a small card and write your name on it and for those who follow me on Twitter know, I despise surrendering my name to unknowns. You then take this card with you to the buffet table where you are greeted with another person who "advises" you.

The meat assortments are plenty and slightly obscure. Beef sirloin in cubes or shredded. Turkey chunks and miscellaneous porks. Seafood of the colorless variety that would beckon to ask, which is which? Then, a vast array of powder seasonings, which I deplore in this style of cuisine. Mongolian is about coverage by sauce, not dashed by dust. Vegetables, adequate. The sauce, the core of the reason to briefly vacation here, is the true test of a proper establishment. Here, they urge you to use ramekins for your sauce, discouraging you from gorging. The few sauce selections were specific to completion, unlike (all) alternative establishments where you concoct your own arrangement. This, is utter horse shit. I might as well have ordered some thing from a menu to procure the same result...which by the by, they do offer as an option. You may check off a series of boxes on a door hanger and the waitress will attend to it for your pathetic lethargic obese self.

The chef was a small white woman, which is immediately discouraging (ref. any man's opinion on female grilling). Then, I am again seated. The significant flaw here is that one of the persuasive ambiance elements of Mongolian BBQ is seeing your food cooked on the specific stone fired circular hibachi grill. Walking away from this and from your food is a distracting let down. The waitress brings you your bowl which has grown exponentially as they have piled your grilled items (burnt this go, obviously set too long, see above) atop a heaping mound of hidden rice. I prefer my rice segregated so that soy sauce is the prominent seasoning, as often a cooling apparatus. Instead, I am left with an excessive bowl of a most disappointing burnt and bland flavor. The generosity of rice is deceptive towards the regards of your grilled items which are speckled through out the rice as it's consumed, then lost and abandoned if unable to finish.

To compound this horrid food are small electronic tablets on the table pitching you complimentary items as if website advertisements, to which you may order alcoholic beverages or products. Had it not been lunch, the uncommon and welcomed full bar would have been taken advantaged of in order to dissuade my senses of the remainder of this awful consumption experience.

Assessment - YC's Mongolian Grill
YC's Mongolian Grill
9120 E Indian Bend Road
Scottsdale, Arizona, North America

Date: 13:00 315/073
Genre: Mongolian BBQ
Serving: 12.95$ (Unlimited)

In a world of illusionary expediency, even the laid back Mongolians have succumb to the American scattering pace. The dining experience at YC's Mongolian Grill models a Baja Fresh style of finer fast foods. Rather than being seated at a table and served a beverage, here you are accountable for all things including payment up front, a more buffet singularity ala Soup Plantation. Upon the exchange of tender, you are given a bowel and it is here that class diminishes. Rather than an unlimited attempt at perfecting your cuisine, you are given but one opportunity and there are little boundaries to your excess. Humans have always been no more fanciful than swine when dining buffet and this validation is no more apparent than when having to heave mighty amounts of food in to a single bowel, but once. Over flowing gorging so that it produces a secondary pile upon the tray was seen before me in a line burdened by people's simple minded perceptions that ingredient combinations created an exquisite cuisine. There is no sense of calm or nature here, unlike previous incarnations we have adored. YC's Mongolian Grill is a mall food court grade restaurant which while successful for the hogs, does little to create an allure of an unique experience and it is this experience that trumps quality, consumed yet unnecessary.